We’re a day or two away from the end of July, seriously.  Where’s this year gone?

Time is flying by at such a pace, it’s paradoxical. Baking in the SoCal heat – but at least the nights are cool.  Humidity has been up this year.  Doing a lot of traveling so enjoy times at home – then I get the scratch to get out.  Painful times – age catching up. Body doesn’t rejuvenate very fast, and little things seems so much bigger these days.  Really wished I had my toe x-ray’d, banged it the other day and painful four days later.  Oh well, lazy bastard I am will eventually have to pay for it.  Expensive year so far due to silly rash decisions.  Again hindsight is such a wonderful thing.  I keep telling myself to stop falling into the trap — but every time I concede and it ends up costing me.  Oh well, can’t line the coffin with the paper.

I’m so very tired.  Age catching up.  Been in this funk for awhile now.  Can’t roll back time, and can’t accept the fact that I can’t do that.  Keyword of the year: REGRET.  Not sure if it’s middle age crisis, or just becoming aware of mortality and how f**ked up my life has been.  Could-of / should-of oh so many times.  But this shit dual persona buried within has f’d me up all along the journey.  The f-em all one should steam roll the other lazy f*ck out of existence – but that will never happen since C2-H6-O always seems to have a role in dismantling the creature.  So, the lazy pacifist rears his head and anger & frustration take over and consume what has a little semblance of a good person.

alcohol

alcohol

 

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